A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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