Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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National security?

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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