What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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