MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +18

so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops