- Anti Joke

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: locks door NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! opens door NEXT!

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: locks door NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! opens door NEXT!

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: locks door NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! opens door NEXT!