How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

civil rights

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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