I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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hi joshua

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Penis-biter

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops