2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Women's rights

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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