A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Eric is gay Ha

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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