It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

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hashtags suck balls

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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jd and zach loves vigina

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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