A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops