Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Maths.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops