What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Please ignore this statement.

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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