A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops