How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

Matthew Wyckoff

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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