If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops