Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops