Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

If your reading this, youre not blind.

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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