why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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