How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

TELL

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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