What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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So these two girls have a cup .

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Fine, ladies first.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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