Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Wolfjob.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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