Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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