Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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HOLY COW!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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