How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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A Fat Kenyan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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