knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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