I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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