A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is 33 + 1? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops