What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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