Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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