what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops