An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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