What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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