Try it Yourself »

Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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