A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is this joke funny It isn't

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

can you touch your toes? no

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats black and large -me

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is my name? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops