What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Try it Yourself »

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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