Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops