A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ask me if im a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops