A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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