What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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drew edminstin is a rat

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops