A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops