A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Q: What do you call an anti-joke? A: An anti-joke

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how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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9/11 my birthday

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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