How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

What's big and purple? Barney

~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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