George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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No antijoke here.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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