Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops