what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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One, two, three, four and five

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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