Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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poop.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Why can't jokes spit?

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops