How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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