The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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your mom is so fat.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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srrsly, the fuk is going down here? read down It`s satanist rituals or something, Are there mmodderators that will remove this things seriusly!Moral stuf is satanism!!!!

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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