Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops