how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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