A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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