What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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Ehh

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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Terraria

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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